Purr Empire Part Five As All Take A Dive!

     We had nowhere to go. The giant litter box had many a foe. Thanks to Blue Guy finally spotting his shoe we no longer had a shield in view. So we all did what anyone would. We jumped into the ocean and sunk into its scary hood. Cassie sure was not happy with getting wet but it beat another Tig Leader singing set.
     "Under the sea is the place to be. There can be only..." Pat starred at us and waited for us to fuss. "Four. There can be only four."
     We followed Pat's lead and found no drowning took seed. We could all breathe and talk under water for some reason. Before we could take it in some crab said that we committed treason. Thankfully he did not sing and was fat and blue. Him and Blue Guy must be related and from some weird alien zoo.
     "Drazin has no time for this. Drazin will make you dinner."
     "Avast ye land lubber, tell us why we can talk or walk the plank, scallywag."
     We rolled our eyes at Pat as he said that. He really makes no sense no matter where we end up at.
     "This is the sea of not. You will find it is where you will rot."
     "All for boiling the crab?" Drazin got no refusal from any of us. The crab then started to fuss.
     "Here in the sea of not, you must further the plot. If not you'll rot. I can tell you are the latter lot." The crab laughed and then faded away. I think I prefer Blue Guy's shoe foray.
     "I hate water levels. Always hated water levels." Pat mumbled about water levels in video games, repeating his hate for them claims.
     "At least I'm not wet. Maybe this ocean is fake?" Cassie tried to make sense of it while Pat continued his fit.
     "Drazin would guess that too, fleabag. The sea of not is a dead giveaway."
     "Adjust thy eyes, demon. We are in water. The liquid of life."
     "Drazin really wants to smack your stupid human."
     "Do it and I make a godly mook bleed."
     "Can't we all get along? Let's sing the cheery under the sea song."
     "Hell no!" They all shouted at me. I was just trying to give everyone glee.
     "Thy feline has a point. This is a rhyming joint." Pat squinted and saw a tiny light as he rhymed. It was if the water was being mimed.
     "Drazin refuses to rhyme anymore."
     "Fine, stay stuck here. Won't bother my rhyming rear." I saw the same light as Pat and we were going to squash this fake sea flat. But then came the annoying part as out came a new foe like a fart. He just passed on in and blabbed how we could not win.
     "You won't break it through. Nothing any human can due. Maybe just a few. But they were smarter than you."
     "For a ninja and a mime, he really doesn't get the whole aspect of silence, does he?" Pat tilted his head finding Mime Ninja confusing, as he stared at the nut thinking it was all rather amusing.
     "And is he a chameleon? Who is the dumb one here?" Cassie rolled her eyes and slashed the nut. His eyes bugged out as he stared at his cut.
     "You made me bleed. That is not a nice deed. I shall drown you first, cat. Take that." Mime Ninja made his finger swirl and Cassie began to twirl. The water around her became real and she was getting wet, hating the whole ordeal.
     "No worry at all. Just follow the bouncing ball." I began to rhyme and Cassie noticed I was stopping the Mime Ninja's crime. She held her breath the best she could while I sped it up in this fake water hood. "Under the fake sea. That is where life is free. No buzzing of a bee. No swimming in fish pee. Just so much fun under the fake sea. A Mime Ninja on a talking spree. A blue crab that's fat as can be. Drazin, Pat, Cassie and little old me. Here we swim all day in this fake kind of bay. Or is it an ocean? Bah, has the same motion. Are you following me? It's all good under the fake sea. And for all of that, here's a present from the cat. I promise this one isn't fake, so feel free to partake. It's just for you. May blind your view. But totally from me under the great fake sea."
     "That is disgusting." Drazin curled up his nose as I let pee rip from me like a hose.
     "How can this be? I'm cut and covered in pee. She is free. This can't be under the fake sea." Mime Ninja tried to wave the cloud of pee from his eyes, proving again he was not so wise. For I think he got some in his yap as he spoke. That is so nasty that Pat began to choke.
     "What do you say we leave this fake sea? I'm all wet and need a grooming to come to be."
     "I'm with Cassie. She's more classy. She didn't pee in a Mime's mouth. I guess that's what happens when your brain heads south." Pat looked away and we all glared at Drazin waiting for him to have his say.
     "Fine. Drazin will play. Let's get Drazin out of this stupid fish bait bay."
     After Drazin finished his lame rhyme, poof went the mime. He burst to little bits of shiny stuff. At least this ninja we did not have to see in the buff. The fake ocean parted in front of us as well. We found it rather swell. It was like we were in some underwater motel place, surrounded by the fake ocean's embrace.
     "More walking. Why does it always have to be more walking?" Pat grumbled as we walked on the fake ocean floor, going the opposite way from the singing animal filled shore. We went a few miles, all of us turning up the whiny dials. At least I whined in rhyme. That makes it a much better time.
     "Drazin would say Drazin is seeing things, but nothing surprises Drazin when Drazin is with you fleabags."
     "Says the godly mook who lives on Plumtoad. Please."
     We all stared at the cow dressed in a doctor's scrubs. He was doing experiments on tiny little grubs. They could actually speak too. But only little squeaks were heard by our crew. Pat turned away as the cow ate a bunch of different ingredients and stuff. He then gave a huff and a puff. He spit them all back up in pill form. To Dr. Regurgitation that was the norm.
     "Is he done? Please say he's done."
     "Drazin thinks your crazy human needs to work on that grossed out thing." Drazin laughed and made noise like he does and soon the whole area was all abuzz.
     "Good going, godly mook." Cassie bent down, ready to strike. This buzzing noise we did not like.
     "Welcome, new patients. I will be your doctor for your stay with us. We will get you well. No longer will you see things that aren't there. I promise."
     "The only one that needs therapy is their crazy human. Leave Drazin out of this."
     "That eye glowing is part of a severe condition, my friend. But we'll fix you up."
     Cassie and I snickered at Drazin as he made his eyes stop glowing. That is when we saw a new showing. Dr. Regurgitation took a pill of his own making and he turned into a human that was breath taking. If one is into models and such. This cat does not care very much.
     "I see you are confused. Your minds are becoming clearer just by being here and now you see the true me. Your surroundings are all an illusion. You never left your apartment."
     "Oh screw this. I'm so not going down the whole the world is fake but real road. That has been done to death. Every long running show does it. Screw that." Pat got over his disgust for Dr. Regurgitation and marched up to him with no hesitation. He grabbed him by the throat and stuffed enough pills down it to fill a boat.
     "Your crazy human has his uses, fleabags." Drazin was clearly impressed after that he confessed.
     "Wow. You don't see that every day." Cassie smiled as Pat jumped back. New form Dr. Regurgitation sure did not lack.
     The buzzing stopped as Dr. Regurgitation turned into every animal in the book. Some of his forms we have never even gave a look. He grabbed his throat and tried to hurl them up as he turned into a pup. But that was his final form. The area now looked like a first year dorm. Dr. Regurgitation blew up and sent splatter everywhere. Pat had it on him from his shoes to his hair. We were ready for him to faint on us. Instead one of his voices began to fuss.
     "This is the way of war. The scars we make and the gunk we sour..."
     "Enough. Drazin can't take much more." Drazin flicked a few pieces of Dr. Regurgitation splatter of his arm and he was ready to cause harm. I think he got mad that Pat had all the fun. If you can call fun getting guts on you by the ton.
     "Pat, keep talking. Maybe you won't notice until we find real water." Cassie walked on by as he had turned into quite the blabbering guy.
     Cassie and I remained gut free while Pat and Drazin followed us across the fake sea. Then we came to a glowing white light. It was quite the sight. You would go blind if you looked at it too long. That is all kinds of wrong.
     "Pat! Don't!" Cassie tried to stop Pat but he was still a yapping dingbat. That splatter really made him lose his mind. He walked into the light yapping about war's grind.
     "Drazin takes back what Drazin said about your crazy human."
     "Let's go. What's on the other side we now have to know."
     "Fleabags. Why does Drazin follow fleabags."
     Cassie and I jumped on in and Drazin also took the bright light for a spin. We all doubted it meant death after a fake ocean that does not leave you out of breath. But there was probably a foe on the other side and, thanks to Pat, we had to take the ride.


Breathing under water sure is grand. Don't you wish you can do that like on land? But then going down too far would crush you. Hey, could weed out the dumb humans at each zoo. I guess we shall see what is in the white light. I hope it is not a fright. Maybe it's a door that will give us a home hall pass? Probably just wishful thinking from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.


  1. Cats don't like water that safe to say,
    Poor Cassie and co. sure had a bad day.
    Mime Ninja had to rub pee from it's eyes.
    Perhaps all these events were a "Blessing In Disguise"

    Wonderful to read and most entertaining.

  2. Wow, a lot happens here
    A fat blue crab appears
    Dr. Regurgitation - Ew and Ick
    His talent's enough to make one sick!

    1. That it would be indeed
      A barf bag few may need

  3. Fake this and fake wake
    Fake icing on the cake
    It's so confusing to my mind
    I'll sit here and just be kind

    1. A kindness from you
      To a one of a kind crew

  4. Fake is used here more often than Trump's twitter

  5. After reading this I think I need a little therapy.
    Don't tell the cats, it's just between you and me.
    Have a great day.
    Stay out of the water, cats.

  6. Always nice to see who each chapter's guest-star blogger is going to be!

  7. I'd love to be able to breathe and talk under water.
    Enjoyed the Blue Guy's cameo appearance:)

    1. The Blue Guy has more
      He may not be the blue guy of lore

  8. Being able to breathe underwater will surely be a fantastic ability and idea.

    1. Would sure be grand indeed
      To be able to do that deed

  9. I thought Patrick Duffy would appear as the man from Atlantis! I think breathing under water would be fun...unless sharks and Orcas were around. Being peed on is not fun, nor is throwing up or eating those white grubs-yuck

    1. Nope, not fun one bit
      Nasty as underwater takes a hit

  10. Purr Empire Part Five As All Take A Dive!
    Under the fake sea one can still be alive
    Dr. Regurgitation blew up
    Not one to fool up the butt
    Got to go on with good intentions and jive


    1. That they do
      Never know what's in view
      An exploding butt
      At ones hut

  11. Fleabags and aliens never seem to mix!

  12. All that talk of under the sea, makes me want to sing the Little Mermaid song, "Under the sea, Under the sea. Darling it's better, down where it's wetter..." lol

    1. lol that catchy tune
      Can sure get stuck in at ones sand dune

  13. Little Mermaid is about as close as I will get to breathing under water.

  14. Breathing under water?/Only when I was inside my mother! :-)

    Greetings from London.

  15. orlin N cassie.....now yur talkin EPIC vacationz....fake ocean floor, reel ocean floor, fake sea, reel sea, ...ta bee abe bull ta be thiz kinda close __

    two that kinda food source !!!!!! yea....now yur talkin....

    N yea....we give thiz post 984 PAWS UP !!!!!!!!
    insert fish heer ~~~~ ♥♥☺☺

    pee ess...mimi ...thatz KNOT pee :) coz thiz iz R vacationz !!!!!!!! ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

    1. lol no pee allowed
      In fish land you sure stand proud

  16. I refuse to rhyme today
    Undersea I am at play
    Holding my breath, staying wet
    Will see in part 6 who breaks a sweat

    Oops. I think this blog makes one rhyme!

    1. Makes it may
      Any old day
      6 we shall see
      What comes to be

  17. Oh what a tale
    It made me wail
    Logic set sail
    Made me eat kale

    1. Logic went to the ocean
      Lost in its fake motion

  18. I can hold my breath for a while, but that is about it. :)

  19. That was some underwater trip
    why didn't Pat just take a ship
    instead he gave his readers some lip
    but, there was no joining at the hip (haha)

    The blue guy, may be taking a tour
    into the land or lore...

    1. The blue guy may fry
      He has an evil eye
      But is that known?
      No hip in the fake ocean was thrown

  20. I am a horrible breath holder, so I try to keep my head above water. Out of it if I can help it so I can avoid the pee streams too.

  21. Deep water is not my thing
    I'd rather do just about anything

  22. I would love to be able to breathe under water and stroll along the bottom anywhere! Crazy fun!

    1. Would be grand
      Until crushed by the weight in your land


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