Look What I Own At The Tone!

Now we all know about the Jones's type nuts. That has been said at many huts. Been there, done that. But there are more Looky Lous that chew the fat. They want you to be so impressed. Frankly, I'm surprised they can even get dressed.

Look at me.
Share my glee.
I've got stuff.
Can't get enough.

Not a hoarder.
All is in order.
You've been there?
Hoard to spare.

What we want,
Sure does taunt.
It allows a touch,
Or fame and such.

I've got Will Smith's trash.
Stole it in a flash.
Isn't that great?
Won't you be my mate?

I've got so dead celebrities hair.
Her name I can't share.
I don't want you to steal it.
But she had many a hit.

I've got her toe nail clippings too.
Want to see a few?
They are in pristine condition.
But it's paid only admission.

I've got Elvis's mowed grass.
I have it in mass.
It's all frozen in the freezer.
Sure to be a people pleaser.

I even got...shh don't tell.
This one is really swell.
It's Harrison Ford's used condom.
I used the force to bond them.

But that's not all.
I've got a whole wall.
Such things are totally rare.
Like...shhh..hair from down there.

Other stuff I've sold.
These things are pure gold.
Don't you want to view?
Maybe even make an offer on one or two?

Pfffft and pfffft some more a sadly such things are considered "collectible" at many a human shore. Really? Hair and trash and many many other weird things in a stash? That just scares the cat. Less impressive than my scat. Do you have any such "collectible" items like bottled Luke Skywalker gas? Best not to tell my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. I'm starting to purge
    So I own a little less
    I still like my "stuff"
    But too much is a mess

  2. Keeping up with the Jones's
    Have never been my thing.
    All I require is the simple things,
    Health and happiness and to hear Danny Boy sing.

    Life is not all about possesions,
    But to be kind to others is what I say.
    So do I keep up with the Jones's?
    My answer to that is "No Way".


    1. Good way to be
      No way at your sea
      Jones's can go play
      Be in debt every day

  3. These would all be things you would collect if you were a collecting nutjob. Woo doggie, but I do have quite a few things I should dump.

    1. A collecting nutjob there are a few
      They think they have a clue

  4. Things like that are so gross. I wouldn't want any of it. I have a couple autographs and that's about it. Oh, and a tiny bottle of Mt. St. Helens ash. That I swept off our back deck.

    1. All holds true
      Something for you
      Not the icky stuff
      Or some fluff

  5. Less is more :) this is coming from a former collector.

  6. Well, was disturbing to read! Lol

  7. I've got the first leaf to fall from a tree
    You laugh but its worth a lot
    I've got the first book written by man you see
    It became mine after many battles fought

    1. Damn, look at you go
      You'll get lots of dough

  8. Keep up with the Jones
    Not for me
    Want as little as possible
    At my sea.


    1. The way we go
      Chuck the rest out the window

  9. If it's the one he used on Carried Fischer, I might be worth something posthumously

    I know, WTF?

  10. Nope not for me
    No weird souvenirs in my tree
    Look from afar
    Do not touch
    Some stuff folks do
    Is way crazy much

  11. Humans really collect some strange things. Not me, I only collect dust bunnies!

  12. Toe nails and trash, uhm no thanks. lol Seems like these people need professional help.

  13. Look What I Own At The Tone!
    It seems in this I'm not alone
    They're collectibles
    Mostly not edibles
    Just keeping up with the Jones


    1. Up they try to keep
      Taking that disturbing leap

  14. I own an awful lot of collectibles, but thankfully, nothing so outrageous as to be disgusting.

    1. Yeah, if you ever delve there
      Time to burn down your lair

  15. Some of the things folks pay money for are really scary.

  16. I once had stuff
    more than enough
    I couldn't see bluff
    till I sold this fluff

  17. humans collect strange and amazing things !

  18. Some people have their priorities all wrong.
    Most material things don't last very long.

    1. Nope, dust collectors many a time
      If they last after their prime

  19. This is "it" for the day
    Say good-night and hit the hay

    1. What did the hay ever do to you?
      Poor hay getting hit at your zoo

  20. The Cat would have a blast
    With the collections at my mast
    String and yarn and thread, oh my
    Cat would be chasing in a wink of an eye!

    1. And eating too
      Vet bill would sure come due

  21. It's nuts what people will collect from a celebrity. Like when Britney Spears used chewing gum brought in hefty money. Just gross.

    1. Gross what they'll take
      And gross how much they make

  22. LOL, Pat! Somewhere I have an autographed photo of Pierre Elliot Trudeau. He gave it to me in 1968 when I was campaigning for his election. My first political activism, working the phones in the Liberal headquarters in Wolfivlle. I got to meet Trudeau briefly at a rally in Kentville because of my volunteering. It was a great moment in my life, and Trudeau was elected as Prime Minister. Now I'm older and know that there are more political losses than wins.

    1. haha somewhere it is
      Shows you don't hold it in true value at your bin
      Not going to sell it for a grand?
      Like the other nuts across the land
      That there are indeed
      When politics take seed


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