Hire To Write So I Can Ignite!

Some humans really need a kick to the head. Wouldn't hurt the cat any if they fell dead. At least for a few seconds or so. Like Flatliners, you know? I'm not that mean here at my scene.

I need a writer.
I need one quick.
A real nail biter,
Who can write some slick.

I have an college essay due.
I can't get it done.
I'll pay you $5 too.
Doesn't it sound fun?

I have entry papers.
I really want to get in.
We aren't committing capers.
I just want to give being a Dr. a spin.

I need my thesis written.
It must be well researched.
I'll buy you a kitten,
Or a bird to be perched.

I have a paper due.
It's all about me.
I would like to hire you,
To make it come to be.

There is a second one.
It's on my personal thoughts.
Can you give it a run?
I bet when writing my thoughts you have lots.

I have a personal experience book.
It must be written grand.
Won't you write it at your nook?
I'll then sell it across the land.

My memoirs need to be written.
They are totally fake.
But fans will be smitten.
Care to partake?

My personal blog needs a writer.
Can you post each day?
Maybe even pull an all nighter.
I'll give 50 cents as pay.

I need a writer fast.
This job would last.
It will be a blast.
But first sign a waiver as you aren't part of the cast.

Now don't you want to go and write personal stuff for some nut? Doesn't that sound like a fun rut? Who wouldn't want a Dr. that can't write their own thoughts? I mean, I'd really really trust them lots. Pfffffft to such lazy sobs at any sea. On them I'd like to take a pee. Whole new level to dog ate my homework as they hire writers to forgo that perk. Some people also actually help it come to pass. Those are graduates that are scary to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. Good morning Hank!
    Welcome to Monday
    so not a fun day!

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Oops - Who ya gonna call? Ghostwriters that's who...,haha now that song will chime in your head.,,

    2. lol Ghostwriters for the win
      Avoid the oopsy spin

  3. Yes, we don't want people writing that kind of stuff.

  4. You'd have to pay me a whole lot more than $5 to write a college essay.

  5. Enough trouble at my zoo
    Trying to keep up with you!!!
    No writing for hire for me
    Plenty of writing going on at my sea

    1. haha keeping up with the cat
      Could be work in that

  6. write words like Cyrano
    woo someone true
    but glory from afar
    makes one blue

  7. Enough to deal with daily
    Than a bunch of lazy
    Folks who leave things till
    The last minute still.

  8. Nope wont write for another
    Especially for that pay
    Maybe offer more money
    And it will turn out a better way.


    1. More dough can win
      But not sure I'd even take some for a spin

  9. I'm remember an American Idol winner saying she didn't know how to read and made a book about it.

    ...wait a minute.

    1. Oops, screwed the pooch there
      Probably wasn't even aware

  10. Hire To Write So I Can Ignite!
    A Ghost-writer to take flight
    Gather the slam
    Just hire them!
    End up feeling light and bright


  11. Pee away, those numnuts deserve it!

  12. Cheaters, cheaters, everywhere. I guess a degree can be bought like nearly everything else.

    1. Yep, bought it can be
      Sometimes for a cheap fee

  13. That's pathetic. They don't deserve to do well in life if they can't do their own work.

  14. Sorry, I only get paid to format. And I don't edit then, either.

  15. Usually when I tell people I'm a writer, they say that their life has been so interesting that people often tell them that they should write a book. Then they make this offer: If I'll write their book for them, they'll split the money 50-50 with me. I explain that I can't write for nothing because something has to pay the bills in the meantime, and what if the book doesn't make any money? When I tell them I need an up-front fee, it always scares them away.

    1. haha I've heard that a few times too
      I pffffffffffft them and go on my way at my zoo
      Cheapos won't pay
      So not wasting my breath at our bay

    2. Right. Nothing wrong with ghost-writing, but a writer can't do it for peanuts.

    3. Nope, want it done
      Pay me for the run

  16. They should be writing their own stuff.

  17. A thesis ghost writer...Hmm, maybe there's some job possibilities there. Ha.

    1. Could rack up a bit
      Subbing in for many a twit

  18. Greetings. I enjoyed reading. I enjoyed writing essays when I was in University.

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

  19. It seems to me you offer such a measly fee
    So if I wrote it would you share the degree . . . lol
    But the examiners might feel my style would not quite fit
    Because the spelling, grammar/syntex is written by a Brit.
    They might not understand me no matter how you plan it.
    They would think the writer comes from a different planet . . . lol
    So good luck with all the writing ~ I hope it is first rate
    And may you get a first class honours ~ I hope so, mate . . .

    1. lol throw in a wanker and some spotted dick
      You never know, you may be the top pick
      Or sent to the nurse
      Maybe something far worse
      Poked and prodded for a disease
      They sure don't contract out their fees

  20. Ha, ha, some people are just downright lazy.
    If anyone writes a paper for five bucks they're crazy.

    1. Crazy as can be
      But $5 is a lot for some over the sea

  21. I'm here for the job
    like rest of the mob
    but don't make me sob
    my sleep time to rob

  22. $5 for an essay? I haven't charged anything that low since high school.

    1. lol what were you charging?
      Good that your fee is enlarging

  23. This sounds like many actors/actresses who "write" their story. When you look close, you see that it is helped by so and so. As for having essays and other school exams etc done, well, that's how Bush and Trump probably did it.

    1. Yeah, most likely how they did
      Own private writer put in a bid

  24. It's amazing how people don't want to do their own work and expect someone else to do it for free or for mere pennies. Pft I say!

    1. Pfffft is what they should receive
      Then one should throw the finger and leave

  25. Some are not talented in that way
    So I'm happy to step in
    But I charge a helluva lot more
    Than $5 - that's a sin

  26. Write for me, I insistI
    I pay the least, you'll be blest

  27. Princes and princesses want you to do their job
    And my name ain't Uncle Bob!

  28. I've been asked to write something for other people, and I won't do it for friend or foe or money. Write your own stuff! On the other hand, I did say, a little enviously, to Terry last night as we were watching a clip on Hillary Clinton's book release: "Man, if I had her team of writers and researchers, my memoir would be finished fast too!" Oh well, I'll just keep plodding along writing my own stuff! LOL Have a good one, Pat!

    1. lol keep on a keeping on at your sea
      If one had her money they could have a golden toilet to pee


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