You humans sure put quite the spin on things. Do you just have these things waiting in the wings? Maybe monkey see, monkey do? Just don't go throwing anything that should be in the loo.
That looks grand.
I want one in hand.
I just love the look.
I'll get it at my nook.
Got it and used.
Wait, I'm confused.
It isn't that great.
Wasn't worth the wait.
You lied to me.
That much I can see.
What was that?
Do you think I a dingbat?
If not 100% satisfied you'll send me another one absolutely free?
That was rather wordy of thee.
But really, what the hell?
Do you just enjoy wasting minutes on my cell?
If 52% or 96% I get another?
I could get one for my mother.
How do you measure such a percent?
Is that what you meant?
Hold on a second there.
Why do I want a spare?
If your product is complete crap,
Why would I take a double lap?
Then two crappy things I'd have to chuck.
That just makes me go what the fluck.
I'll have double the crap.
Did that just come from your yap?
But it's absolutely free?
Free crap from thee.
Woweee, I say.
I don't have to pay.
I don't have to pay each morning one bit,
When I take a good shit.
Do you think I want a second one?
I suppose if constipation is being given a run.
I'm 76% satisfied today.
Can I get 24% more at my bay?
I don't want 100% more crap.
You are one silly human sap.
Ever see that in advertisements at your sea? Why the hell would you want more crap even if free? Then you'd have two of the same crappy thing. Does double the crap satisfy at ones wing? Beats the heck out of me. But if they have to offer that it usually means flee. For the product will shatter like glass. I think I'll remain simply a satisfied little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
That looks grand.
I want one in hand.
I just love the look.
I'll get it at my nook.
Got it and used.
Wait, I'm confused.
It isn't that great.
Wasn't worth the wait.
You lied to me.
That much I can see.
What was that?
Do you think I a dingbat?
If not 100% satisfied you'll send me another one absolutely free?
That was rather wordy of thee.
But really, what the hell?
Do you just enjoy wasting minutes on my cell?
If 52% or 96% I get another?
I could get one for my mother.
How do you measure such a percent?
Is that what you meant?
Hold on a second there.
Why do I want a spare?
If your product is complete crap,
Why would I take a double lap?
Then two crappy things I'd have to chuck.
That just makes me go what the fluck.
I'll have double the crap.
Did that just come from your yap?
But it's absolutely free?
Free crap from thee.
Woweee, I say.
I don't have to pay.
I don't have to pay each morning one bit,
When I take a good shit.
Do you think I want a second one?
I suppose if constipation is being given a run.
I'm 76% satisfied today.
Can I get 24% more at my bay?
I don't want 100% more crap.
You are one silly human sap.
Ever see that in advertisements at your sea? Why the hell would you want more crap even if free? Then you'd have two of the same crappy thing. Does double the crap satisfy at ones wing? Beats the heck out of me. But if they have to offer that it usually means flee. For the product will shatter like glass. I think I'll remain simply a satisfied little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Ninja attack!!
ReplyDeleteNinja is quick!
DeleteTwice in one week - and I'm on blog break. I need to take a break more often I guess.
DeleteIf I could get my money back if not a hundred percent satisfied with a movie, I'm never pay for one again...
Look at you go
DeleteAttacking while breaking at your show
haha yep, be easy that way
Always a free display
1
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry! You would've had it...
DeleteTwo is my fate
Deletea little too late
Haha no need to be sorry
Deletethe stars proclaim, you are one
lucky number two for me is spun
2 for you
DeleteWhatever will you do
One never gets anything worthwhile for free these days.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed the read.
Yvonne.
Not one bit
DeleteUsually is shit
There's no such thing as 100% satisfaction. Anyone claiming it is deluded, or they are taking us for a ride.
ReplyDeleteAlso, while we are on this topic, there's a saying: if something is free, you are the product.
Deluded they would be
DeleteWe don't want to be the product at our sea
Two of the same crappy thing - good point. Who wants that?
ReplyDeleteYep, dumb indeed
DeleteDouble the crap at ones feed
One time, I emailed a company about a bag of Rice Works chips that was almost all air. I counted 7 chips! They apologized and sent me a coupon for another bag. I think the next one had 9 chips. Lol!
ReplyDeletelol point proven indeed
DeleteRice chips are lousy times two at your feed
Only 99%
ReplyDeleteNo .99
DeleteDid align?
Seen these guarantees at my place
ReplyDeleteSometimes too much trouble to complain
So just put up with the product
And continue the same.
Betty
That it can be
DeleteNo need for extra trouble to come to thee
This offer they should make
ReplyDeleteOn every ball of thread I'd take
Home with me and then I'd fake
Not liking for the bonus sake
lol they may catch on
DeleteTo your running con
100% guaranteed to not last very long. That's our world today, it seems. Good rhyme!
ReplyDeleteThat it surely is
DeleteAll big biz
They really don't think things through when they come up with those slogans. Ever see a sign saying something like "Up to 40% off and more!" Well, which is it? Up to 40% off? Or more than 40% off?
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw "Maybe monkey see, monkey do? Just don't go throwing ..." I was expecting you to finish that next line with "poo." I was close, though, wasn't I?
haha I've seen that one at a number of places too
DeleteClose, but I avoided the dreaded monkey poo
I think Miss Leading will win th beauty pagent!
ReplyDeleteThat she or he will
DeleteHave to be equal opportunity to fit the bill
Those ads always crack me up, too. It's gotten to where when we see one on TV, my hubby and I always say, "But WAIT..." and we're usually right. It's possible to order a second one absolutely FREE! (Except for an untold amount of shipping and handling...)
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I sent a letter of complaint to a company years ago, which claimed a "100% guarantee that everyone would love their products." Our son, who was a toddling eating machine at the time, did NOT like their hash browns. The company sent me a case of their other products... which he (and we) DID like. :)
lol yep, you can pretty much guess what will come
DeleteAs they tack on the extra and them some
That was a nice thing to do
Sounds like a good company at their zoo
I hate things that are free
ReplyDeleteJust stay away from me
A free trip to the Bahamas, you say
Go soak your head in the bay
There's always a string
Like a bell with a ring
Don't give me your junk
Puts me in a funk
But it's guaranteed, you say
Put your ad in the Sun, the one with the ray
Let it burn
DeleteNever to return
Or take that string
And wrap it around their umm ding a ling
I like free stuff though. But only free stuff that I'll use and that are actually free and don't try to scam you into paying shipping costs. lol
ReplyDeletelol yeah, shipping costs are where they win
DeleteYou sure have it down at your bin
I only like free if I can use it, like Mary said. I've got enough junk laying around here, I don't need double to wade through. This ain't hoarders up in here, ya know.
ReplyDeleteNot a hoarder wannabe?
DeleteYou could get on TV
I'll take a pass with tv
DeleteI'll do YouTube if I need attention that bad
lol cheaper and easier that way
DeleteWith your display
orlin N cassie
ReplyDeleteif knot com pleet lee satizfied ... ree tern fora full ree fund ....lezz shippin ...handlin... N paper werk processin....
hay ewe customer...look...now ewe owe UZ money ~~~~~~~~
faaaaaaaaaa
♥♥☺☺
lol the way to goes
DeleteSure sinks to new lows
Haha. Good point
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of joint
Wants to send another, when you dislike the first?
A stupid one. Those are the worst.
The worst they are
DeleteBy very far
His wife was the crème of the crop
ReplyDeleteAt saving whenever she’d shop
Each day she’d go
To save him more dough
She just didn’t know when to stop
Go to save
DeleteSoon live in a cave
If I don't like the first one, I certainly don't need a second! Usually something free is a come on, I'll pass! Take care at your lair!
ReplyDeleteA come on it can be
DeleteBut still not as bad as a free STD
Humans are so silly sometimes it makes me want to just surround myself with dogs.
ReplyDeleteYep, but at least humans don't eat poo
DeleteHopefully none at any zoo lol
100% satisfied guaranteed- maybe they are thinking 50% happy plus 50% happy= 100%. lol
ReplyDelete~Jess
That they may
DeleteBad math any day
Sigh - I am 100% angry with my government.
ReplyDeleteDoes that count?
That may be
DeleteThere at your sea
I've actually seen 100% genuine faux pearls advertised so there ya go:)
ReplyDeleteThere we are
DeleteFor a nut going to a bar
Sales pitches
ReplyDeleteAre usually fake
Oh, look at that!
Another model and make
Up the ante
DeleteSinging their same old shanty