It's Official Now So Doesn't It Wow?

You can count on me to bring you everything at my sea. Who needs products that are great? These ones have been proven to be top rate. That is all you need to know. I'll even tell you so.

Pee Water, The Official Water of Dogs.
Nope, not those lazy hogs.
You can be sure it is great,
Because mutts take the bait.

Flip Flops, The Official Shoe of Texas Rangers.
Damn, they'll sure stop dangers.
It's official so buy, buy, buy.
Off the shelves they will fly.

Moose Print Bed Sheets.
The Official Sheets of The Streets.
Millions of streets vouch for these.
Buying them should be a breeze.

Piss Warm Beer.
The Official Beer Of Doctors Who Study The Ear.
We were too lazy to look up the correct name.
But 100% we back our claim.

Walkie Talkies, The Official Communication Means of The NSA.
Now doesn't that just make your day?
You'll have to get them next time you're out.
Antique stores may be about.

Trees With Branches.
The Official Trees of Cow Ranches.
So that is how they grow.
It is always good to know.

Butt Cracks and Shopping Carts.
The Official Product of All Wal-Marts.
Hmm, that one wasn't very new.
I think everyone has seen that view.

Alarm Clocks, The Official Clocks of Bosses.
My, they sure don't want to suffer losses.
Bosses everywhere want them sold.
Alarm clocks are pure gold.

Chewed Gum Under A Seat.
The Official Gum For An Early Childhood Treat.
And best of all it is free.
Hmm, I think we'll go back to the tree.

A Filled Up Litter Box.
The Official Box of The Makers of Socks.
Because then they'll get you to buy more.
Hey, can't help if we miss at our shore.

I have so many more to share. You can email me and I'll send you thousands at your lair. These Official products really help you to buy. Who cares if they aren't used by the Official girl, team, or guy. They have The Official in the name. So that is all you need to light your flame. Pfffft and I'm really a singing bass. So says The Official little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. Replies
    1. Where is everyone? I guess they hit the snooze on their alarm some places your pay will be docked.. tick tock

      Off to work I must go!

    2. They must be off to and fro
      Or snoozing away all aglow

  2. Trees with Branches are a very popular product.

  3. It's Official Now So Doesn't It Wow?
    Official products none to disallow
    Array of offerings
    Names are revealing
    Though quite many do raise eyebrows


    1. Eyebrows a plenty
      Raise all twenty
      Or two
      Who knew

  4. Crisco Oil, official sponsor of the New York Giants. Hey, the way they played this weekend, there had to be oil on the ball!

    1. The ball was too slick
      they couldn't get a grip :(

    2. lol hey, at least they used it right
      As the ball took flight

  5. What does it really mean to be official anyways
    Just gives someone more money
    And if I don't get it
    Then its not even funny.


    1. Yep, stupid as can be
      All comes back to the $$$$ at every sea

  6. Hey, now! Moose prints are cool!
    Unless made without design tools...
    Snowflakes could be
    The official logo for politically
    Inspired nerds, jerks and fools!

    1. Snowflakes by the pound
      May create a rather large mound

  7. There sure is a lot of peeMail things going around today!

  8. I enjoyed reading. I shop around for bargains to be found, and for goods that are sound. See you around, but not in the pound!

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

  9. My dog was obsessed with drinking the water that was in the tire that laid out in the yard once.

    1. Must have had a rubber taste
      Couldn't let it go to waste

  10. The official products of Walmart. Priceless. I laughed out loud reading this post. The guys at work wondered what I was doing

    1. lol Got them thinking now
      They may think it strange if you tell them about a rhyming cat somehow

  11. Toilet water is evidently the most delicious thing in the dog universe. My dad always drank his beer warm, especially the dark brews.

  12. Committee's have their official stamp
    It hides them when the weather's damp
    It sends a very secret code
    And carries a rather heavy load

    1. Be nice if it broke their back
      Proving they are a hack

  13. That reminds me I probably need to check the litter box.

    1. Good thing to do
      Before it smells like #1 or #2

  14. I love the official genuine faux pearls.
    How about green or blue hair with curls?
    The sad thing is people pay
    it really shouldn't be that way.

  15. I'm sure these products are all wonderful....but I think I'll pass. Grin.

    1. Probably wise
      But could get a really good booby prize

  16. Lol at the butt cracks and shopping carts
    at all the Walmarts
    Don't walk behind them. You'll get plenty of farts.

    1. Lots of hot air
      Different kind from between a pair

  17. orlin N cassie; we wood like 8 filled boxez, 29 wadz oh gum, treez with branchez but onlee if they iz burd free N 75 gallonz oh pee waterz....

    make de chex out two ewe both ore dad ?? ☺☺♥♥

    1. We'll take the check
      Expect them all tomorrow on your deck

  18. The stuff that he spewed must be true
    Each night without clue he’d renew
    Till fact someone shed
    Struck him in the head
    Gave him a whole new point of view

  19. If writing doesn't work out for you, I can see you hawking some of these products on a late night infomercial. You'll be rich and famous!

  20. Butt cracks are all the rage now. Seems everyone wears their pants around their knees.

  21. Although late in reading it as always was a pleasure.


  22. Lots of interesting pairings out there. Dogs have a very unique thirst and taste for things that is for sure. ;)

  23. Butt cracks and shopping carts are the official product of all Walks-Marts ~ and I'll bet you can find all the other official products there at a discounted price. Avoiding War-Mart is always nice!

    1. haha avoidance is key
      But they aren't so bad at our sea


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