The cat will help you out today. I will make more sense of things at my bay. A cat helping humans at his sea. That is rather nice of me. Or maybe it is not with the additions brought.
You need to get a grip.
Of an electrified wire.
Feel free to give lip,
If you hair catches fire.
Go piss up a rope.
And let it hit your eye.
Nearby have some soap,
For that's not tears you cry.
No comments from the peanut gallery,
Or I'll give you an allergic reaction.
Then I'll take away your salary,
And leave you in traction.
Were you born on a raft,
Or just in the riverbank?
Either way, you're quite daft.
No go walk the plank.
If I must be Frank,
Or Tom, Dick or Harry,
You smell rather rank,
And you are rather scary.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't,
Or maybe you're just damned.
Take it back I won't,
Even if the door was slammed.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,
Or three in a tree or four in your rafter.
Or maybe five spurting crap from their tush.
That would provide no laughter.
Go pound sand up your ass,
Then stick in a giant plug.
That would hurt in mass.
The sand may even contain a bug.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions,
And the prying eyes of nosey Parkers.
The last gets no mentions,
Watch out for three headed barkers.
In for a penny, in for a pound,
But won't go in just any.
Do you think I a hound,
That goes around to many?
Hmmm, they may be a bit wordy and not stick. Some though are far more threatening and/or ick. Any additions you add to sayings that are used over and over again? I'm sure many have heard a ton at their den. But have you changed or maybe rearranged? I could go on forever with this pass. You humans provide a lot of material to my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
You need to get a grip.
Of an electrified wire.
Feel free to give lip,
If you hair catches fire.
Go piss up a rope.
And let it hit your eye.
Nearby have some soap,
For that's not tears you cry.
No comments from the peanut gallery,
Or I'll give you an allergic reaction.
Then I'll take away your salary,
And leave you in traction.
Were you born on a raft,
Or just in the riverbank?
Either way, you're quite daft.
No go walk the plank.
If I must be Frank,
Or Tom, Dick or Harry,
You smell rather rank,
And you are rather scary.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't,
Or maybe you're just damned.
Take it back I won't,
Even if the door was slammed.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,
Or three in a tree or four in your rafter.
Or maybe five spurting crap from their tush.
That would provide no laughter.
Go pound sand up your ass,
Then stick in a giant plug.
That would hurt in mass.
The sand may even contain a bug.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions,
And the prying eyes of nosey Parkers.
The last gets no mentions,
Watch out for three headed barkers.
In for a penny, in for a pound,
But won't go in just any.
Do you think I a hound,
That goes around to many?
Hmmm, they may be a bit wordy and not stick. Some though are far more threatening and/or ick. Any additions you add to sayings that are used over and over again? I'm sure many have heard a ton at their den. But have you changed or maybe rearranged? I could go on forever with this pass. You humans provide a lot of material to my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
1
ReplyDeleteGood Morning Hank
Delete#1 no walking the plank
To that you can give thanks :)
Good morning True
DeleteSo far so good
Been missing Blue
He'll change his mood
Hank
It's now 5 in a row
DeleteCautiously around the corner!
Hank
Got the streak a going
DeleteWith another morning showing
He He He with an evil tone.
DeleteI be creeping into your zone.
Oh don't reach for your phone.
Too late for the rattling bones!
Boo Boo Boo
Creeping into a zone?
DeleteHmmm good thing you went with evil tone lol
Hank, Blue has disappeared
DeletePerhaps, looking for his shoe to reappear
Maybe, he will wake up before the sun
and give a one shoe number 1 a run..,
Doing his little course at his sea
DeleteA time suck came to be
1
ReplyDeleteIt's a double
DeleteHand-phone trouble!
Hank
Phone came to play
DeleteA double display
A bird in the hand is worth two bird-pooped hands.
ReplyDeleteAny old day
DeleteNasty on display
Hmm they say if a bird poops on you it brings good luck, don’t believe it.. lol..
Deletelol no one who got shit on says that
DeleteEver with the scat
It’s about as lucky as stepping in dog poo
Deleteall you get is a mess on your shoe..lol
Then have to dig it out the tread
DeleteBlah, rather stay in bed
I haven't added any, but here's one...
ReplyDeleteHank is #1 (that's used a lot)
that guy is speedy fun!
Thanks Rosie
DeleteBeen most lucky!
Hank
In comes Hank
DeleteAll others walk the plank
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure
ReplyDeleteWill be nothing with what Kaykuala will endure
When I get that number one spot
Tommorrow at 6 am on the dot
Numero two oh will be Kaykuala's lot.
Doom Doom Doom, it's close to Halloween. Evil laugh follows.
Ann, #1 spot is an attraction
DeleteBut luck comes in more often!
Hank
lol a threat now from your sea
DeleteWe shall see what comes to be
She could sleep in though
That evil laugh may have taken a lot out of her you know
But who will walk the plank?
DeleteKaykuala shall walk the plank of despair when his number 1 spot is no longer there.
DeleteYou need to be quick
Deleteas Hank is #1 slick
lol good luck with that
DeleteBetter chew no fat
A penny saved is a penny earned. Nowadays, people don't even bother to pick up pennies off the ground!
ReplyDeleteNope, leave them there
DeleteCompletely unaware
Around here, people say "Bless your heart." The unspoken ending to that is "You stupid fool." LOL
ReplyDeletelol too foolish to know
DeleteOr do they know at their show?
that's why I cringe when I hear it
Deletehaha cringeworthy you say
DeleteNever gets said much near our bay
If a rolling stone gathers "no moss"
ReplyDeleteAre you in with the rest of the sauce
If a stitch in time will save nine
Will your britches all hold up just fine
Maybe they'll fall down
DeleteThen you can gather moss to avoid mooning the town
"You need to get a grip.
ReplyDeleteOf an electrified wire."
I need to use this with someone. lol
lol hope it doesn’t have a short and start a fire...
Deletelol may end up bad
DeleteIf they try it at their pad
You need to get a grip
ReplyDeletelest you take a trip!
Go piss up a rope
you unenlightened dope.
Damned if you and damned if you don't
damned either way so do what you want!
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
Just hang on tight, don't fall on your tush!
haha there you go
DeleteA fine additional flow
Unenlightened dope takes the cake though
May have to steal that for our next foe
Ouch! No gripping electrified wires for me:)
ReplyDeleteGood way to be
DeleteThere at your sea
I seem to say these days
ReplyDeletenot going down that road again
so maybe it is a bit redundant
but that is how I tend.
betty
At least you know
DeleteSo no repeat a show
Holy mackerel! I'm some stunned this morning! For the life of me I can't think of an addition. Have a good one, buddy! Hope your day's not cruddy!
ReplyDeleteYou not able to think?
DeleteThe altitude bring you to the brink? lol
I think my parents said all of those. I know I've heard all of them. Though I don't use many of them.
ReplyDeleteNot a one
DeleteOthers must be given a run
I know the sayings, but have no additions. Some of these are very funny
ReplyDeleteFunny they be
DeleteUsed many by we
I've been in many "Damned if you do, damned if you don't" situations.
ReplyDeleteMost are never fun
DeleteJust want them done
You've no doubt heard that sappy line "Today is the first day of the rest of your life?" Well, I very rarely say that, but whenever I do, I invariably add "But then again, so was yesterday, and that sucked, too."
ReplyDeletehaha that is a good addition to make
DeleteWith the sappy retake
orlin N cassie...what de sam hellz wrong with yur dadz language two day.....damn burd in de hand
ReplyDeletefaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
☺♥
haha knew you wouldn't like that
DeleteWhere you are at
I have certainly heard most of these in my life! :)
ReplyDelete~Jess
Seems they get around
DeleteAs many sure are found
Parkers? No, his name is Johnson.
ReplyDeleteYou are talking about Mr. Neighbor man, right? haha.
You mean you see him peeking?
DeleteThose tighty whities aren't able to hide suck sleeking
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I see that a lot recently. Screwed if you do, screwed if you don’t. Get the screw remover!
ReplyDeleteUnless it is the good kind of screwed
DeleteThen the remover may just be rude lol
These are all things my mom and grandma used to say. Funny how sayings like this span many generations.
ReplyDeleteMany sure do stand the test of time
DeleteStaying with us in their prime
Most true [Pat. Loved the verse although somewhat late in doing so.
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
Glad it was grand
DeleteHere in our land
Another day, another dollar...
ReplyDeleteIn the hole, I then holler
That we do
DeleteDeeper we stew
“Her eyes look like 2 piss holes in the snow.” “He’s as useless as a boar”s tits. He’s as useless as a dog’s hind leg. He’s not worth a powder to blow.” Some of my dad’s sayings
ReplyDeletelol heard the middle two
DeleteBut not the others at my zoo