Screw You...We Mean All New!

Today we are going to give you an all new rhyme. It will even impress a scary mime. It will be so all new. It may even blind your view. I warned you too. So you can't sue. Or you can try. But can't get anything from a cat or broke guy. Unless you want litter. Okay, let's go before you get bitter.

This is all new.
It is all true.
It is our best yet.
Nothing but net.

All new prize.
We tell no lies.
All new it is.
Love the all new biz.

All new this.
It's all new, Miss.
All new that.
Nothing like that old scat.

Looks the same?
Bah, old was lame.
This is all new.
Believe it to be true.

We didn't adjust.
In us you can trust.
We didn't cut back.
Don't believe such flack.

This is all new.
Believe it to be true.
Believe and it will be.
It's all new, you see?

I protest too much?
Bah, don't think and such.
Just let it sink in.
Then it is a win.

For it is all new.
Not brand for you.
But all new.
Brand hasn't a clue.

False it is not.
Believe in our plot.
We cut out this and that,
But we keep that under our hat.

Just focus on all new.
That is where you see what's true.
Focus and you will believe it.
Even if we are full of shit.

Don't you love the all new? Especially when it is not true. That you could try and sue. May shut the idiots up with the all new. I saw it on one of those charity prize draw things the other day. They took three of the big prizes, restructured to make it "all new" and then took one away. So you pay the same price for a ticket and lose one more chance at a prize. But nope, they weren't telling lies. Suffice to say I screwed with them a bit and the more they spoke, the more you knew they were full of shit. Oh yeah, this rhyme was an "All New" pass. I keep it all new with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer. 


  1. Replies
    1. That's 4 in a row
      In with a flow!


    2. Will Hank make it to five?

      Find out next time on Blogger Ball Z

    3. Hank is number one that is not new
      always happy when he comes into view

      but, who knows what this week will bring

    4. Who knows what shall show
      Hopefully not like Dragonball Z and super slow

  2. Screw You...We Mean All New!
    To focus on what things to do
    Accept with grace
    And give it face
    To love everything that are new


  3. I love how all new usually means a change in packaging and less product.

  4. New and improved is even worse. Remember New Coke? How quickly they changed back.

    1. And with new and improved, as we have said
      Can't be both, so they are touched in the head

  5. What is new, Oh I see
    You changed the product, whoopi-dee
    It will make one live forever
    But not if a head they sever

    1. Chop off the head
      May wind up dead
      Or with a new face
      Some could embrace

  6. Oh that bit about the prize is just wrong. Some people just want to screw you and not in a good way.

    1. That they surely do
      Not a drop of fun comes due

  7. The prize draw thing sounds so wrong!

    1. They got away with it
      But must have pissed people off as the next one they reversed that bit

  8. New you, brand new me
    higher prices
    time to flee

  9. Ah, I am trying to find what is new
    and compare it to what is true.
    Hard to trust but trust we must
    and hope that integrity has not bit the dust!

  10. So why is new the better thing to get. It has to be super new for us to get interested. Pat, you have a fantastic week.

    1. Super new would be the way
      From the rest one can stray

  11. Sounds like a scam with the prize draw. Like mom always said, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably isn't.

    1. They sure went with the scam
      Can suck on my toe jam

  12. A really overused advertising tool. Does anyone believe it anymore?

    1. Must if they still use the crap
      All over the map

  13. Loved the read Pat. "Starting AAnew" is very challenging.


  14. All new to them is what I think
    But they want to sell you the kitchen sink.
    Don’t fall for that crap
    Or you will end up one big sap.

  15. The new thing is rarely better.
    Chase it too much, you'll be a debtor!


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