The Everything Land Gives You A Hand!

The cat will share a secret with you. You will all know it to be true. You know but you never use. It is there to abuse. And best of all they won't sue. For the words always come due.

We want you to buy.
We want you to spend.
We'll give anything a try,
So borrow, beg, and lend.

You need this thing.
You need it today.
Listen to what we sing,
Then come our way.

We have the best.
It beats all the rest.
It passes every test.
It is loved from east to west.

Or maybe west to east.
Either or does the deed.
On it you can feast.
It caters to your every need.

It will rub your feet.
It will cook your meal.
It will call you sweet.
It will impress a seal.

It will comfort you.
It will pop your corn.
It will make you stew.
It will handle your newborn.

It will forgo lines.
It will pay your debt.
It will force sun shines.
It will win every bet.

It caters to your every need.
The brochure says so.
That means every single deed.
So let's give it a go.

It drives well.
It gets me there.
But what the hell,
No foot rub to spare.

It doesn't speak.
It doesn't pay my debt.
Your advertising has a leak.
I just lost my bet.

Don't you love such false advertising at your sea? I seen it in car sales a bunch with every ad spree. "Caters to your every need." Pffft and I'm really a billionaire at my feed. Maybe they should use logical need in there, or something else to spare? Advertisers use it a bunch. They are really out to lunch. Of course the fine print makes it so some nut can't sue for such false advertising coming to pass. I'll just poke fun and cater to the own needs of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. I have yet to see a really expensive dryer that will also fold the clothes when they are done. That's not catering to my needs at all.

    1. Yep, sure not getting it all done
      Such lies with their run

  2. Those ads usually make us giggle at all the dumb they spout!

    1. Dumb they sure shout
      Stuff a cork in their spout

  3. False advertising sucks.
    It makes me waste my bucks.
    I've bought things that don't work.
    Wanted to call the seller a jerk.
    Still didn't get my money back.
    Makes want to launch a verbal attack.
    At least over at Amazon
    I can get my refund.


    1. Yep, such crap flies
      As they tell their lies
      Toss em in the drink
      And watch as they sink

  4. Advertisers have to do something to get your money
    the techniques they use at times are not very funny.


    1. That they aren't indeed
      As they sell at their feed

  5. Weve got midterm elections here. Lots of false advertising!

    1. That is a given at your shore
      All those bozos lie forevermore

  6. The Everything Land Gives You A Hand!
    To tell your needs you hadn't planned
    The purpose is to inform
    Needn't have to conform
    But the gullible unwittingly succumbed


    1. That the gullible do
      Then on rubber they chew

  7. I hate ads. At least on tv I can ff through all the commercials.

  8. "The new Predator movie is grrrrrrrreat!"
    Go sit on a skate.
    "Halloween 2018 is grrrrrrreat too!"
    Go eat a blue shoe.
    "Millennials are strong!"
    You're wrong.
    "The new Terminator movie's not a SJW turd!"
    That's not what I heard.

    Just so you know
    At the Kitty Cat Show.

    Great post from coast to coast
    Don't mean to boast.

    1. What about the new Critters run?
      Will it be fun?
      Will Gremlins 3 do the trick?
      Will another Freddy reboot make you sick?
      Will Ghostbusters the new reboot be the best?
      Will you fall for it and be its guest?

    2. They all make me sick
      They can go sit on a stick
      That'll be a nice trick
      A speciall effect, too
      Scooby Doo!

    3. Special they already be
      As they make this crap and charge a fee

  9. Imagine trying to convince someone to get a watch. What "needs" does it cater to?

    1. Gives you something to watch may not work
      Gonna need to make up a better perk

  10. There's so much false advertising out there, no one believes the few true things they occasionally tell us.

    1. Yep, sad but true
      Think it is all lies through and through

  11. Walk through the stalls at the State Fair - the hawkers promise the moon and back on plenty of gizmos. And people are buying....

    1. That they do
      Fall for hawkers through and through

  12. Don't believe in those ads as all they want is just your money.

  13. Cater to your every need
    read the small print, take heed
    it's all about the nasty greed
    would a robot vacuum pick up seeds
    as I lounge on the couch and read
    would it clean it up at top speed
    tell me did the ad mislead
    where is my warranty (haha)

    1. haha and that will be void
      Because it is a droid
      Or just because
      Because it was

  14. Ads are bad
    They make me sad
    No longer a fad
    Don’t care even a tad

  15. My husband used to get sucked into those late night infomercials. Thanks God for streaming shows now. No more ads here.

    1. haha that is a grand thing
      Now you won't hear his credit card going cha ching

  16. I see these people every day.
    Have loans at 59.95%, yes..way!
    They owe $30,000 on their credit cards
    Yes, some are real retards.

    1. haha damn that is a lot
      Clearly budgeting or basic math they were never taught


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