Hit Those Three Before I Go To Pee!

You humans really sink to new lows. I guess brain cells just keep flying out windows. If they are closed do they bounce back? Nope we'd have to go with due to how many some lack.

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Emergency! Emergency!
This is of an urgency.
I must get my phone.
911 my dog hasn't got a bone.

Bah, my life is over.
Poor, poor rover.
Can't someone bring it to me?
It is an emergency so I won't pay a fee.

Oh no. It has come.
911 I grew hair on my bum.
How can this be?
I don't want a hairy spree.

This is very very bad.
911 my stuffed animal has gone mad.
It stared at my the wrong way.
It is possessed at my bay.

This could be worse.
911 a neighbor gave a curse.
He said damn.
He also has toe jam.

911 they have bad grammar.
They deserve to go in the slammer.
Couldn't be worse is what they needed to say.
Come arrest them and make them pay.

This is horrible.
911 their customer service was deplorable.
Come and do something about it.
They didn't have a comfy place to sit.

How can this even be?
911 I found a flea.
It may even bite.
Yes, it just might.

This is so bad.
911 I lost my mouse pad.
Someone must have stolen it.
Can you believe that shit?

911 do I need a reason for calling?
No, I'm not sitting here stalling.
I just needed someone to talk to.
So what if a real emergency comes due.

People really call such crap in. Are humans really that dumb that they give 911 a spin? Ever hear of stupid 911 calls at your sea? I've seen news stories on a few that were set free. Hopefully you've never called them for such a thing. Butt dialing would be far better at any wing. Bad customer service isn't really an emergency for any human mass. But when you get fined I'll be sure and make fun with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.


  1. Replies
    1. True snuck in for a Friday win
      with a mischievous grin...

      Hey, I wanted to play on this day!

    2. A grinning win
      Poor Hank done in

    3. Good morning True
      Deserving win for you!


  2. As an epiletic I have had to call emergency quite a few times but unforunately epilepsy is not considered urgent even when I've been unconcious .
    Good poem Pat and one readers should take note of.
    Have a good weekend,

  3. I've heard of some of the dumb things people call in to 911. Criminal to tie up the lines with trivial stuff.

    1. Yep, stupid and criminal indeed
      Fine em at each feed

  4. Some of those humans should call the idiot hotline instead!

    1. They'd never get through
      Too many to call at each zoo

  5. more folks should use the 311 or come up with a number for the stupid of stupid. But one man's stupid is another man's crisis.

  6. Just yesterday in the news
    Some guy lit the 911 fuse
    Trying to kill a spider with his shoes

    1. Now that deserves a call
      Or tell the cat to play it to death down the hall

  7. Yes, but the nurses in our family also have had patients who have driven themselves to the hospital in dire conditions instead of calling 911. Two extremes!

    1. Yeah, I know a few of those too
      Stubborn they be at their zoo

  8. Think before you dial...
    I say this with a smile

  9. I'm sure 911 operators could write a book
    With all the weird calls they get
    But I'm sure there are emergencies
    That they will never forget.


  10. Quick! Call 911!
    Or, maybe a plumber.
    I just flushed my son.
    Do you know the number?

    1. Must be one big loo
      For the number, 911 may give you a clue

  11. Some people call for the dumbest reasons.

  12. orlin N cassie; de food servizz gurlz dad bee ree tired frum de fire dee part mint N him haz toll all kindz oh storeez bout stuff they haz hurd on de scanner ~~~~~~~ we haz said on mor N one oh kayshun....R ya flippin kiddin ??!!

  13. 911 is expensive, ever take an ambulance ride. I can see folks refusing to call for that reason, but still. That sillier stuff is hilarious. Maybe we need 811 - call when you want to talk...

    1. Yeah, it sure isn't cheap
      The idiots too run deep

  14. People can be such weirdos. Whoever came up with the fine is brilliant. That helps keep dumb stuff at bay, I'm sure.

    1. If they pay
      Some just ignore and go on their way

  15. 911 is for emergencies only
    People shouldn't call to talk because they're lonely.

    1. That they should not
      But they don't follow that plot

  16. People call for all kinds of dumb stuff, but I will forever laugh at The Guy, The Dog, The Deer, and The Bambalance.

    1. Have to look that up at our sea
      And see what comes to be

  17. When I was working as a social worker, I had a client call and ask me to deliver them a pizza because they couldn't get the pizza man to come to that area of town after dark. Amazing how few brain cells people can have at times.

    1. Wow, that is just sad
      Brain cells missing a tad

  18. Everyone has a personal emergency... like breaking a nail!! I could DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! In Australia it's 000 btw ;)

    1. Good to know If I ever visit there
      I may need it if I step on a rock at your lair

  19. Hit Those Three Before I Go To Pee!
    No fooling when it means emergency
    Dialing 911
    Is not for fun
    They do a good job and all for free



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