The Hotline For You Here In View!

Are you ready for it? It is really the shit. It proves you are full of it. Yeah, like the already said shit. Geez, said that twice in a row. That is a no no. Bah! A crisis is in view. Umm...errr...time two!

Today was bad.
Today was had.
Stuff was done.
It was not fun.

I stubbed my toe.
That gets an oh no.
I need a hotline.
My toe isn't fine.

It's a crisis for me.
One that's easy to see.
Hello! Hello!
I ate bad jello.

It's a crisis I tell you.
It is soooo bad at our zoo.
Whoops, I meant mine.
I am single on the line.

That is awful too.
It just won't do.
A crisis of one.
What can be done?

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Hello? Are you there?
Do you want me to swear?
I need you to give a fluck.
I was almost, sorta, maybe hit by a truck.

That was sooo bad.
No fun was surely had.
It is a crisis more than a tad.
Can't you tell that I'm really mad?

You hung up?
I spilled my cup.
It just released air.
A full blown crisis at my lair.

Did you catch that?
Didn't get my innuendo where I'm at?
Wait. Was it a pun?
Bah, a crisis in my fun.

What can I do?
I'm having more than a few.
Hello? Hello? Are you gone?
A blade of grass is out of place on my lawn.

Now isn't that a crisis or ten? Do you have such a crisis or three at your den? Do you ever use it when it is not? Some sure give it a go a lot. Sorry, a popped balloon isn't a crisis one bit. But you can dial 999 We Don't Give A Shit. Same goes for a crooked blade of grass. It isn't even a crisis, although maybe close, when Pat hasn't scooped what came out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.


  1. My life has been full of crisis of late,
    Things in particular I hate.
    A berevement that tore the strings of my heart.
    To hear a beloved son this world had to depart.

    Loved your post Pat.

  2. Not a crisis person. Some folks thrive on drama

  3. There's lots of crisis types out n' about but I don't purrticipate!

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Crises are done and gone
    When kids have grown and moved on

    1. Kids can sure bring them about
      With many a shout

  6. Not a crisis, but not the purrfect start to a day:): One of the older cats managed to get herself locked in the cabinet overnight yesterday and couldn't hold her bladder. Just another day in the life of a cat owner:)

    1. hahaha oopsy at your sea
      Can't expect it to be held all not for she

  7. The Hotline For You Here In View!
    May help to avert a crisis or two
    If it's not a crisis
    Then just leave it
    No worry with other things to do


  8. Yep. So many things are not really emergencies or a crisis. I think people just like drama.

    1. People just love to go to it
      And make up a bunch of umm spit

  9. Some people love drama. I try to stay away from it. :)

  10. I'm not a drama queen so not too many crisis's here.

  11. Well, trying times
    Do make for great rhymes.

  12. My fingernail broke,
    what a crisis.
    Never mind, I don't get my nails done. ;)

    1. haha easy for you
      No nails to fluff out of the blue

  13. Another crisis. Oh gee whiz.
    But the crisis is not mine, it is his.

  14. That's why I've had to mute a few people on Facebook. I swear, some people think they are having one crisis or another every other hour.

  15. I see this every day
    People shriek and say,
    "Why do they call me?
    You said they would let me be."
    They just were in my office 2 hours ago
    They expect I can stop all in one blow.
    They are Aunt Pitty Pat from Gone With The Wind.
    My patience with them becomes quite thin

    1. Thin it should be
      People sure let brain cells fly free


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