A Link For You Or Maybe Two!

The cat loves when humans come to gawk. Five seconds and then they take a walk. Right to the contact page. They want to offer the cat a wage. Better off with kitty litter. Or bothering some nut on Twitter.

We've come and saw.
We like your paw.
We like your rhyme.
Ten seconds at a time.

So here we are.
We sure aren't far.
But we want to be near.
We want to be part of your rhyming rear.

Could you say rear?
Ass is hard to hear.
It may send customers away.
Just something we had to say.

As for our offer.
We aren't a cougher.
One of those guys spamming.
There will be no rambling jamming.

We would like a post at your sea.
I'm sure many of your readers would love it to come to be.
It can be on anything at all.
We have an army of writers at our hall.

We'll give you two premium backlinks on our site.
That will instantly take flight.
We'll also promote the page.
We could even give you a wage.

Just let us know what you'd like.
Then we can surely strike.
It will be a great deal to all.
We really think we deserve a spot on your wall.

So get back to us soon.
Like before high noon.
We'd love to hear your thoughts.
I'm sure you have lots.

....two days pass by.
We didn't hear from you, why?
Don't you want our deal?
We swear that is is real.

We'd love to set up a chat.
We could just chew the fat.
We know you'll love every bit.
After all, our army of 0.05 cents per word writers wrote it.

Do you ever get any of those emailing you? We've gotten quite a few. One even asked us not to end with ass. Pfffffffffffffffft like that will ever come to pass. Delete is all they get from me. On them we'd biff some pee. It does clump, you know. I'd rather let mutts run our show. But hey, they were good for some sass. That is always fun for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Comments

  1. I can’t say anyone wanted to post on my blog but, I have been given some unsolicited advice. To which I didn’t find very nice.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh yes, I've gotten many of those offers. The IWSG site gets them as well.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lol, guess you can't have free speech on your own blog!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, they'll come after you
      But oh well, ass still comes due

      Delete
  4. Delete indeed is what they get from me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I zap them into cyberspace oblivion with a swift kick of my powerful, velociraptor foot, especially the nasties!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just don't break the foot, it or yours
      Would sure be hard to go on vacation tours

      Delete
  6. Nothing wrong with saying ass haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, let it flow
      And maybe to some umm show

      Delete
  7. orlin N cassie......hittin dee leet....dadz just blown yur chanze at a bazillion dollarz !!!

    ;) ☺☺♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, have to get after Pat
      We need a golden litter box stat

      Delete
  8. I don't get many of those. Of course, I have marked thousands of emails as spam, so maybe I've blocked all of them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, you've probably got a few blocked that way
      We blocked 1000s in our other email at our bay

      Delete
  9. Yes, they can be quite the pests! We love it when they say get back to us as soon as you can...they're still waiting!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha waiting they will do
      Forever at their zoo

      Delete
  10. Lately I've been getting political stuff.
    They want me to donate to their cause.
    Getting money out of me is very tough.
    So I delete without a pause.

    ReplyDelete
  11. To those spammers near and far, I have one thing to say...Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass ,ass

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha could get a search or three
      From your ass spree

      Delete
  12. I just delete them as I go
    helps to keep up with the flow

    betty

    ReplyDelete
  13. Spam it is. Spam finds itself in the spam toilet.

    ReplyDelete
  14. We delete all of them that we don't have a clue who they are.
    Silly peeps, who think we are going to read their silliness. Have a great evening.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I get those "include my link" emails all the time. The worst though, are the companies that think I want to promote their product for free. Or share our stuff with your followers for us. No, I did not take 10 years to build my following just to give you free advertising. Feck off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha feck off is the right way
      As they don't want to pay

      Delete
  16. A Link For You Or Maybe Two!
    Too many news and nothing new
    'Unsolicited' scams
    And all unannounced
    Play safe regrets will be few

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
  17. They don't read at all before they write
    Then they offer something not so bright

    ReplyDelete
  18. How about the ones that ask you to put their link on a post someone else paid you for (usually a competitor)? I think that's such dirty pool.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, that is dirty pool indeed
      Delete them like a weed

      Delete
  19. Block!
    And they can go smell a sock

    ReplyDelete

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