Time For Plan B


I heard him coming. I saw his streak.
That black and white can go up the creek.
He won't get in, but he will get hit.
Yet the interloper continues to try it.


My job was done. My job was through.
He ran away when this came in view.
It rolled and lit and rolled some more.
That damn thing went all over the floor.


I stalked it out. I stalked it dead.
I then sat pooped and ready for bed.
Pat needed to be home to feed my ass.
Secondly he could go and feed Cass.


He was slow. He was stuck.
That tree will blow away with any luck.
Then Pat won't stop and take a look.
He'll get home and feed our nook.


It's a mutt. It's actually three.
Pat is as nosy as can be.
Why was he looking at any of those?
That's just the beginning of my woes.


In it came. Down it went.
The poop machine seems to pitch a tent.
No, I won't believe you are a cat.
You can go somewhere else and meow like that.


You zig it. You zag it.
Oh, here comes some spit.
I won't chase it as here I sit.
Sorry, you literally are full of shit.


You can wave. You can dance.
I'll still give you a hateful glance.
Just reach over. Just a little more.
Boy, you two are such a chore.


And there it goes. There it tries.
He wants to tell auntie lies.
Like I'll attack and get in trouble.
I'm gonna get out of here on the double.


First I'll speak. First I'll tell.
You two need to go back to where you dwell.
Don't look my way. Don't look at me.
No pouty eyes are going to set you free.


Yep. I'm gone. Yep. I'm out.
You can stare under there and give a shout.
I have a plan. I have an attack.
Best I got when Pat won't let me smack.


Make your noise. Make your mess.
Come on. A little more. A little less.
For when you go back you may get stuck.
At least that's my hope with any luck.


For now you're done. For now you're through.
Now you'll get kicked home for all the eww.
For I've chewed the diapers through and through.
A crash course in potty training will now come due.

Think my plan will work? I chewed the clean diapers with a smirk. But then I got taken to the vet. That sure caused me to fret. Yeah, they always seem to be around. You'd think they liked me like their hound. Speaking of which, did you see those? Can you guess which way the wind blows? This could create lots of sass. I really need to go rest my little rhyming ass.

Think of a Plan B when poop machines visit thee.

Comments

  1. I always have a Plan B if the little monsters arrive. I feel for the cats.
    Very funny

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  2. Yes, that would be gross if they chewed dirty diapers. Hope you had a stash of clean diapers that they couldn't get.

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    Replies
    1. Just the clean ones so far, some hidden away.

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  3. With all the kids in my house over the years. no wonder my cat took over the basement as her domain.

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  4. Poor cat, those kids do like to pester him, don't they?

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    Replies
    1. That they do, he kinda likes some of it though

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  5. I agree with Alex, clean chewing is the way to go!

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  6. So funny! I can picture your nephew meowing at cat. You had your hands full with the pets and poopers.

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    Replies
    1. Meowing away, cat didn't like it though lol will be even more full soon.

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  7. Plan B is always needed especially if diapers are involved!

    Betty

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  8. Time For Plan B
    Not napping if busy
    When they appear
    Not time to fear
    Everyone will be happy

    Hank

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  9. Did the diapers really send you to the vet, cat?! Well, that's what you get for eating something that isn't meant to be eaten. I laughed at you wanting the tree to blow away. Is that you really think Pat was looking at? It's barely even a tree, it's more like an exaggerated stick! I thought the bambino was a cat, why didn't you?

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    Replies
    1. Yep. Had to go to the vet because of diapers or some other crap I ate. The tree blowing away should be done, then Pat can come back a ton. Bah, it's a weird tree. Pffft you thought it? Figures. So slow.

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  10. LOL good job chewing the diapers. Showing the poop machines who is the boss :-)

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  11. Diapers, like snow, you should not eat
    when brown or yellow, they're no treat.

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    Replies
    1. That they surely are not
      So just clean ones with my plot

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  12. orlin N cassie; sorree yur week oh end waz knot sew good tho we gotta say de fotoz oh de waterz total lee rox N we bet itz fun playin with de pee an oh keyz....due they makez a tone
    when ya land on em !!! " :) ♥♥

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    Replies
    1. Fun playing with those indeed. But then we try to eat the box where the music comes from lol

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  13. Who wins the showdown? Does the light work on the kids too? LOL

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  14. Ugh- chewing diapers. Yuck!

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  15. Well, diapers will be a short term thing as soon there will be potty training....Then you can create a post about that...haha

    Are you thinking of getting a dog?

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    Replies
    1. hahaha already do that a bit, blah, but is what it is.

      hmmm you caught that, huh?

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  16. Well at least it was clean diapers that you chewed. But don't do that again, the vet visit might not be a fun one if you eat any of that.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, skipped the dirty ones, thankfully. lol

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  17. Chewing up diapers, huh? I'm sure the vet was amused. Can't say my dogs have ever chewed up anything like that, though they did steal a bag of bread off the counter and ate the bag and all (no vet visit though because by the time we figured out it was gone, they puked it back up. gross!)

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    Replies
    1. haha vet never likes to see him coming as he kinda isn't a happy camper with them. Well at least they puked it back up to avoid the vet.

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  18. My fix of adorable for the day
    Has humorously come my way
    Via a visit at your bay
    But, Cat, I must say
    Diapers are great for horseplay
    But far from delicious, okay?!?

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    Replies
    1. haha so just throw em around
      And then blame the hound

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  19. At least it was clean diapers (the silver lining). :) My baby grand is coming this weekend and she's crazy about our cat, but our cat's not so crazy about her. ;)

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  20. At least it was clean diapers..yuck. the poop twins really love the pussy cats, much to their chagrin.

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  21. Just what I needed today to lift me up with a big laugh. I think Orlin is trying to take out the competition, first the alien, and now the poop machine essentials. The baby Westies are beyond cute! I see a whole lot of love when I look at these photos.

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    Replies
    1. haha he may have such a dastardly plan going.

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