Under The Influence...r


Sitting high. Sitting low.
One's for me, don't you know.
Unless you don't. Then you won't.
But I can change won't to don't.

Maybe can. Maybe can't.
There is a kinda slippery slant.
Could use slant. Could use slope.
Maybe slape if they elope.

Slape's the way. Slape's the best.
You'll now use it like all the rest.
Why is that? Why you say?
Don't ask why and just slape away.

Say it often. Say it quiet.
If you're loud slape may riot.
So let it flow. Let it sink.
If you don't, you'll go down the drink.

No time to think. No time to master.
Either or is like drying plaster.
So say it with her. So say it with him.
If you don't, you'll be out on a limb.

The limb will snap. Down you'll fall.
You'll be the slapeless one of all.
Slapeless and bare. Slapeless and free.
You'll even be slapeless when you pee.

So be a sheep. Be a cow.
Either one doesn't meow.
Although one regurgitates and eats twice.
The slapeless mass may find that nice.

So regurgitate one. Regurgitate all.
Follow the little bouncy ball.
The one I started. The one I threw.
For I have just influenced you. 

Influenced today. Influenced now.
What hooked it was the regurgitating cow. 
I know my stuff. I know your wants.
These are for more than merely taunts.

For I'm on top. For I'm the eyes.
Both of which must mean I'm wise.
Slapeless commands. Slapeless is vital.
As now I can put influencer in my title.

Are you going to be a slapeless using horde now? What? You didn't like being called a cow? But but but I'm an influencer at my sea. You have to believe everything from me. Pfffffffffft is the way. I see that stupid word on many a display. And they usually have 100 followers or so. My, an influencing they sure can go. Maybe they are influencing their mutt. After all, they eat poop and sniff a butt. See any influencers at your sea? Every hear the word set free? I think I'll stick to my usual way of sass and stay a not so slapeless little rhyming ass.

Influence with an R means you'll go far.

Comments

  1. I've not heard the word slape yet. I can think of a few other trending words I can't stand and won't use though.

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    1. Yeah, there are many that just get an ugg from me.

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  2. slape seems perfect for this season as I lounge on a sofa safely slapping away anyone closing in on my social distance space

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    1. Slape em upside the head, just don't make em drop dead.

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  3. Lol, one of my HS friends has a daughter who is an Instagram influencer. When she first told me about this, 5 years ago, I was like 'what the .....?' Well, she now has 86, 000 followers, travels the world, and doesn't pay for anything. It might be down the toilet these days, but I guess it was good while it lasted.

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    1. Damn, I need to get me another 77,000 followers.

      Yeah, at least she had a fun ride for a while.

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  4. I think we all need influenced into a good nap these days!

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  5. Slape? Nope, can't say as I've ever heard that word before, but then again, I'm not easily influenced. :) Don't wanta influence anyone else, either. Well, maybe that's not entirely true... I DO like to influence other people to read books I like. Happy Easter, Pat, cats, and pups.

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    1. haha and we have to you know influence people a bit to buy certain books we put out. Hope a happy easter is had at your pad.

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  6. I've yet to find an influencer that I would follow, but this is a new day and I'm too old to understand the motivations of this generation. Something for nothing, work without effort, creativity with no art. And so the world turns! :)

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    1. Yeah, just do something really dumb and then poof, you can influence with the best of em. Pffft.

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  7. I have never, ever heard of a slape until just now. I almost went off to Google halfway through this post, not to look up slape, but to see which animal regurgitates their food and then eats it again. I decided I didn't want to know, but they you clarified for me in the next verse. How kind of you. Bleh, gag, barf.. As if that wasn't a bad enough image, then you had to talk about eating poop and sniffing butts.

    Google Findings, although I don't think this is what you were talking about-
    Slape (pronounced [ˈslaːpɛ]) is a settlement on the Dravinja River in the Municipality of Majšperk in northeastern Slovenia. The area is part of the traditional region of Styria. It is now included with the rest of the municipality in the Drava Statistical Region

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    1. haha cows tend to upchuck and then eat once more. Two stomachs or something if I recall correctly. Aren't you glad you learned that? And hey, the pups eat poop and sniff butts, so there is that.

      Wow. Made you look haha slape was just slope and slant put together in the above.

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    2. I just reread it and it finally clicked. You said if the words eloped. If you want to be extra proud of yourself, cat, I even searched for a #slape hashtag in instagram. I got a bunch of slipper posts. Hmmm... lol

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    3. hahaha the cat sure made you look quite a bit. He's proud indeed.

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  8. Ha ha, saved me from having to look up slape, which I, too, had not heard before. I try to influence, but not the masses, and definitely not for money. I just want people to be nice to each other. :) But my (often homeless) adopted son told me a while back he wants to be an influencer. I kept my mouth shut. Really.

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    1. Nice to each other isn't a bad way. One may need something a bit more to be an influencer.

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  9. slape as is sleeping...I'm not sleeping today I decided to open a bottle of wine...why not? WTH am I saving it for....cheers to the cat and Pat...no napping just a sipping...LOL...

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  10. I now see a lot of Youtubers calling themselves influencers. It's kinda weird.

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    1. Never saw it on youtube yet. Figures. Weird indeed.

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  11. Learned something new today with the word slape. I don't think I'm an influencer now or have plans to be so in the future. And that is okay with me :)

    betty

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  12. Under The Influence...ravages
    Having Slape and Sons sausages
    An influencer
    All that matter
    May get to profit in many ways

    Hank

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  13. I know I’m under influence of my kitties. I buy food that they say is good and toys they say is fun :-)

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    1. haha yeah, I think I've got that here too.

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  14. An influencer? I am sick of all these new catch phrases don’t they know we are all individuals...except for me of course.

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  15. I had that word "influencer". Anyone can start a social media page and call themselves and influencer. I just want to be under the influence of wine and chocolate these days.

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    1. Yep. Such a stupid arse word. I roll my eyes at the ones with 10 followers that call themselves it. haha not a bad way to be in these times.

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  16. This is my first time hearing slape- but I have heard of influencers. Crazy! Wonder what other new words will come about this year...

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  17. With all of these new words my dictionary is surely out of date. I'm not going to worry about it because I don't really care what they mean. Happy Easter.

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  18. I am influencing my son and my students to do their school work online. That makes me a bona fide influencer this week. Right? :D Haven't heard the word 'slape' but I hear plenty of slang and funky words that come and go quickly. I ignore them...or ask someone what they mean if they're used too often, just so I know. ;)

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    1. haha yeah, that sure counts indeed. As long as they do it, you may be a failed influencer if they don't. Some get thrown around a lot, good to know though.

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  19. Slape. What kind of dumb word is that? I'm not influenced. Sorry, influencers.

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  20. I googled "slape" and it's a real word!
    One of which I've never heard!
    The whole idea of influencers creeps me out.
    Not one of them would I give a shout.

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    1. Yeah, they are eye roll worthy at best
      Who knew I put a real word to the test

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  21. I like "slape"/which I will ape/perhaps for a while/to make the cat smile. :-)

    Greetings from London.

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  22. Well you and the cat taught me a new word. I'd never heard slape before. Apparently, spell check hasn't either. Ha. Now I'll have to be figuring out where I can use it:)

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  23. Boy do we regurgitate here. All over the house.

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  24. Sitting high is good. The higher the better!! Smiles.

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