Time For A Five For A While

 


So over at Birgit's there was a question that piqued my interest. Plus, it got old writer brain pondering. What 5 films would you want with you if you were stuck on an island or in the end of the world scenario for a while. Hmmm Let's just go with the first five that pop in.


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The last thing I remember was being Shanghai-ed by some crummy human trafficker's after stumbling onto their operation. They just couldn't kill me or threaten me. Oh no. They had to stick me on their crappy boat that sank when a crappy storm happened and now everyone thinks I'm dead. Here I am sitting on some unknown island with sand in places that sand shouldn't be and all I have is 5 DVDs and some weird way to watch them. DVDs? Really? Who uses these glorified coasters still anyway? I guess it can't hurt to watch them. At least they had good taste. And at least I don't have to even stop them to take a pee. Can do it right here. Deserted islands have their perks, I guess.

First up:

Die Hard

This should be good. At least....what the yippee kay yay mother bleeper!!! 

This is Die Hard 5. They stuck it in the wrong case. This can go drown with them. I'd rather be eaten by a smoke monster on this island than watch this trash to my brain ever again.

Second up:

Hot Pursuit(1987)

At least this one can't get screwed up. No sequels....what? Hot Pursuit (2015) Can't these idiots read? If I wanted something this badly acted I'd go watch seagulls poop.

Third up:

My Fellow Americans

No way they can screw this one up. Well unless they think Trump's 4 years was a comedy. Here we go...what? Stupid thing. Work!!!!!!!!!! Damn thing is scratched. First they can't put them in the right case and now they can't even keep things in decent shape. Hope they were as bad at human trafficking as they were bootlegging DVDs. 

Fourth Up:

Adventures in Babysitting

So...so...it is the Disney channel remake. I guess I won't be singing the babysitting blues today. Where is a Fast and Furious movie when you need it? No one screws those up. Knowing my luck I'd get stuck with 3 though. 

Fifth Up:

Beverly Hills Cop

Should I even bother at this point? Sigh. It figures. It is the third one. Would a polar bear come out of the woods and eat me now? End this suffering. This is worse than watching Batman & Robin. Okay. Maybe not.

Okay. Enough of this crap. They can all go into the ocean now. Stupid magic DVD player thingy can go there too. Go get your drive full of fish poop. I'll be damned if I'm going to go all Gilligan's Island or talk to some volleyball for years. At least give me Hooch.

Oh look. I missed one. Deadpool. Not bad. Probably end up being Blankman though. 

"You sound like a little child with all your whining."

Shut up, Deadpool DVD. No one is talking to you. I've clearly been out in the sun too long.

"Yeah. You are looking like a burnt steak. At least you could eat the unimportant parts if you start to starve. You aren't going to use anything you thought vital on a deserted island."

Dick jokes from a Blankman DVD. Now I really do want to get eaten by a polar bear.

"I'm not Blankman. I'm Meteor Man."

Figures. Why don't you go join Cosby in jail.

"Low blow. Low Blow. He barely even spoke in the movie."

You talk enough for both of us. Why am I still talking to you? Time I smash you to bits. 

"No. You need me."

Yeah. Like I need a hemorroid. See ya.

This thing sure didn't break easy, but at least when I smashed it I gained a little satisfaction. A little less than I did when I sank the boat of the traffickers. What? You really thought the storm did it? Pfffft.

GREAT! Now the damn pieces are glowing. And now a hole in the sand is opening up. And now it is sucking me in. I might as well roll with it. Even if I end up watching Grease 2. Wait. No. That would be bad. I'll take the island. Stop! 

Hmmm. Back in my bed. Cat between my legs. No glorified coasters. Guess it was just a dream. Or I guess a nightmare. Anything with Die Hard 5 has to be a nightmare. 

THE END

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Geez, Pat went off there. His mind is a scary place. Well maybe not to me. I've lived with it long enough. See any of the movies above? Got 5 you wouldn't mind watching over and over and over again? I'm reminded of that Stargate SG1 episode. No matter what 5 you like now, give it a year. You'd never want to see them again after that.

Enjoy life, forget the strife.

Comments

  1. That went in a weird direction. I'd expect nothing less.
    Not sure where Beverly Hills Cop 3 went wrong. Oh wait, it wasn't funny at all - that was it!

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    1. Weird is our way here at our bay.

      Yeah. That was it. It was total crap. We'll see if Netflix can do better. The idea they had with Sean Connery would have been an interesting one though.

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  2. LOL The only one I've seen of those is Die Hard, and I'm pretty sure it was b/c you told me to. If I had to pick five movies to bring with me, Walk the Line, Dirty Dancing, and Thor would all be there. Maybe Grease and Hairspray to add with it. Figured while I'm stranded, I may as well sing along with my picks and maybe even dance. See, gotta think ahead!! Thor was chosen for, well, Thor..

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    1. Geez, you are so outta touch. Not even an Adventures in Babysitting? My first crush is in that lol

      No Newsies? If you go musicals you gotta have Newsies.

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    2. I just looked it up to try to pick out who your first crush would be, but it looks like it's all cartoon characters.. LOL Haven't heard of Newsies.. Guess I'm off to google again!

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    3. Cartoon characters? You're looking at the wrong one.

      No Newsies? Never? You can't pick musicals if you have never watched that. Blasphemy!

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  3. The only one I’ve seen is Beverly Hills Cop because it harkens back to before children when we went to Blockbuster every weekend! If I had to pick 5, they’d all be John Hughes movies . . Pretty in Pink, 16 Candles, Breakfast Club, Ferris Buehler, but I’d thrown in Fast Times at Ridgemont High because you need some Spiccoli on the beach.

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    1. Can't go wrong with his movies indeed. Been a few years since I watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Blockbuster. Now there is a blast from the past lol

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  4. HA! We just watched Die Hard not long ago and we really like Adventures i Babysitting but we've not seen that one in a while.

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  5. hmm, interesting posts. I'd pick, The Princess Bride, You've Got Mail, Avatar, Arrival, A Cinderella Story but, ask me tomorrow and I might pick 5 different ones. lol

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    1. Yeah, changes from day to day indeed. Sure good ones to take, A Cinderella Story though, you can have that one lol

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    2. If I had to swap Cinderella Story, I would replace it with Guardians of the Galaxy but, you know I am a sap for happily ever afters even though it never happens. Now, to follow up, what would be your top 5 song pick?

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    3. Guardians would sure top the sap for me haha hmmm 5 hmmmm Shook Me All Night Long, Right Back Where We Started From, Going Through Hell, Witch Doctor(lol), and Footloose all popped in.

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  6. Yeah for you joining in and scary...not taken by drug people but having to watch these movies. DH5 is pretty bad for sure and Hot Pursuit is a hot mess. I never thought babysitting was an adventure. My Fellow Americans is funny, I think and do like Beverly Hills Cop. Deadpool is quite funny and rude..love it.

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    1. Yeah. DH5 is crap. Would be super scary just stuck with those. haha babysitting can be an adventure if bad guys are after you.

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  7. Time For A Five For A While
    Stranded Alone but in Style
    The Beverly Hills Cop
    May not cause a stop
    May not make one go all wild

    Hank

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  8. It would be hard to pick just five. Good thing you won’t have electricity anyway.

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    1. Yeah. Can just sit and stare at the coasters

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  9. 'Glorified coasters' - like it!
    This has really made me chuckle. Thank you for taking part!

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  10. Beverly Hills Cop and Die Hard are the only ones I've seen from your list. I think if I had to pick 5 movies it would be, Aliens, Candyman, Silence of the Lambs, Underworld, and Ever After: A Cinderella Story.

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  11. Yep - my luck the DVDs would be scratched. This was hilarious and clever.
    But seriously - 5 movies - hmm. The Big Chill, Saturday Night Fever, Body Heat, Sound of Music, and Gone With The Wind.
    Made me think and as soon as I push Publish, I'll say .....oh, but what about Pulp Fiction......

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    1. Yeah, after I hit Publish I thought of a bunch more too. 5 is too little lol

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  12. Die Hard 5..... Die hard 5.... i'm trying to remember it....

    That was that Russian-set fan film, wasn't it?

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    1. Yeah, it was that Russian garbage one where he was on vacation but really wasn't on vacation and yet said it a 1000 times. So awful.

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  13. I saw Die Hard and it was good. Everyone after that... not so much. I think I'd say, Robin Hood (Costner's version), Grease, The Notebook, The Body Guard and Turner & Hooch (people hate on it, but I love it). :)

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    1. Some good ones there indeed. I enjoy Turner and Hooch too.

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  14. I've seen Die Hard and Beverly Hills Cop. I still laugh at BHC. Eddie Murphy was in his prime back then. I don't have very many movie favorites but if I had to pick, Bridesmaids, Shaun of the Dead, Christmas Story, and Good Fellas would be my picks.

    Warmly,
    Elsie

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    1. Yeah. That was when he actually made decent movies. I still have yet to watch Bridesmaids. Seen the rest though.

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  15. Those are interesting picks
    For me, no five choices stick
    I'd be at a loss
    I'd let Wilson be the boss.

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  16. Interesting choices, Pat! I'd go with the three Peter Jackson LOTR movies, the first Star Wars movie, and Six Days and Seven Nights.

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  17. Hmmm, 5 to watch over and over again? Let's see:

    1. Stand By Me
    2. Shawshank Redemption
    3. Ever After
    4. Princess Bride
    5. Pulp Fiction
    If I can get a bonus, I'd throw Elf in there for good measure. I'll need a little pick me up around the holidays.

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    1. Sure some good ones to watch over and over again indeed. Elf is one of the only Ferrell movies I can stand.

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    2. Same. I cannot stand Will Ferrell in anything else, but he sure is an awesome Buddy the Elf.

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    3. Yeah. His manchild schtick works for that only

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  18. This was really fun to read through, comments, too, even though I've not see a lot of the movies. I guess I could never settle with five. If I picked movies, I might cheat and pick extended trilogies like Hobbit/LoTR, Star Trek, Pirates, Hunger Games (for Lizard) and Bourne (for Lizard). If I had to stick with single movies, it would be Winged Migration, March of the Penguins, Snow Monkeys, Magic of Snowy Owl and Canyon Dreams. Lizard probably would pick all John Wayne movies, all Clint Eastwood movies, all the Fast & Furious movies, all Keanu Reeves movies and Lonesome Dove (gag!). And he'd not be too happy about leaving behind Martian, Interstellar, Space Cowboys (unless that would be in the Clint Collection), October Sky, all the Planet of the Apes movies old and new, all the Jurassic movies, Honey Badgers Masters of Mayhem, Ten Commandments and Wizard of Oz. Seriously! However, I'd rather have a crochet hook, a sewing machine, my bicycle, my camera and a journal (with blank pages and a pen with ink, of course). Podcasts would be nice, though...

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    1. haha geez he wouldn't be a happy camper with all he'd have to leave behind. I'm good with bringing the fast and furious movies. Enjoy those except 3. Yeah, it would probably be better to bring more useful things.

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